How To Re-Invent Your Dating Life for (or to joyfully get past) the Holidays

As a Dating Coach, I have a very important job. It doesn’t come with a plainly written manual, nor a set of incongruent instructions. My job is to help another human being recreate their own destiny, re-invent their life, guide them through the process of transformation and individual growth, to help prepare them face the challenges of a tough Dating world.
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Updated on November 27, 2010
By Ceil Hansen, Dating Coach

How To Re-Invent Your Dating Life for (or to joyfully get past) the Holidays

If you feel you’re one of those who are ready to rock and roll, I gathered a list of things you can use to create your own personalized Dating Checklist to assess whether you truly are prepared to muddle with the other fishes in the Dating Pool.

I want you to date with more CONFIDENCE and boost your self-esteem so that you can go out and date more often and enjoy (and I mean ENJOY) the Dating Process. Easier said than done.

Sure, you’ll soon realize that some things won’t take much effort on your part to modify, rectify or alter, while other idiosyncrasies might require a little bit of practice.

Bottom line is, if you don’t feel so great about yourself, no one will notice your inner and outer beauty. Feeling the energy from within will give your confidence a boost, so let’s start with some basics:

1. ARE YOU READY – The first and most important task we need to conquer is establishing whether you’re truly ready to meet someone new. If you are, we will proceed. If not, I recommend we give it some time.

2. LOOK WITHIN YOURSELF – Another tough one, but we have to do it. I’ll ask you to create a list addressing all the things you are NOT comfortable with about yourself. Be brutally honest.

3. LOOK OUTSIDE YOURSELF – You will make another list of things you think people may not like about you. The purpose of this exercise is to walk away from anything you don’t like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything you do, think, feel and act.

4. THE WAY YOU LOOK - Let’s address the way you look and the way you dress. We will work on learning to like and most importantly, LOVE yourself for who you are. You will not allow negative comments to influence you in any shape or form.

5. CHANGE - Accepting yourself is fine and dandy, but are there things you think you can do better? A sassier, sexier haircut? Less trips to Starbucks? By changing the most basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and routine, you will be surprised at how good that will instantly make you feel. You are transforming into a new you. It is crucial to be comfortable with any changes you make.

6. GET HEALTHIER – You’ll need to condition your mind to be patient if you are dieting or exercising, as these changes will take a little while. Your confidence will grow as you feel better about yourself.Trust me, others will sense it.

7. CREATE NEW ROUTINES - Make a concerted effort to start to change the routines that drag you down. If you associate with people who criticize you, lose them fast. NOW.

8. THINGS YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO DO – Start doing the things you wish you had always had the courage to do, like a hobby, sport or volunteer work. Stretch your limits. You are a new (and improved) version of YOU.

9. ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE – Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time specifically for these things. If you’ve always wanted to cook a nice candlelight dinner for friends, start hosting dinner parties. If you’re used to waiting for others to invite you out, try to reach out this time.

10. STOP ACCEPTING SECOND BEST - Start making yourself the #1 priority. When you start looking, thinking and feeling good about yourself, your life will begin to change for the better and your confidence level shoots up.

11. IT’S OKAY TO BE SELECTIVE – What kind of people do you want to surround yourself with? Express interest in other people. Be conscious about this exercise. The more people you show interest in, the higher your confidence levels. Make small talk with people you meet at the grocery’s checkout line, at the post office or even at the local cafeteria.

12. START DATING - If someone asks you out and you feel there is chemistry, go ahead and accept it. Nowadays, I hear my male clients confess that women DO take the initiative to ask them on a date. At the same token, be proactive and ask someone out. Just do it, and accept freely that some people will say no.

Keep in mind that it’s a numbers game. There will be people who will also say yes, so keep a realistic approach to dating. Look at every opportunity as a unique chance to show off your new YOU. Be your own best advocate.

13. LIFE GOALS - Let’s work together on setting your short and long-term life goals as well as your personalized Romantic Goals. Like attracts like.

People are naturally attracted to driven and goal-orientated folks. Confidence breeds confidence.

Stick with it and just keep going.

Don’t go back to what there was before. There’s no use crying over spilled milk, so let’s create a new path and move on.

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